So, this weekend I was mostly a slug. I had a lovely day on Saturday with my friend Oona, and intended to come home in the evening and do some cleaning and straightening (and purging) in my apartment, along with creating something new. Fail. I instead got sucked into perusing the web, watching TV and contemplating what project I would undertake next (only not quite undertaking it).
The rest of the weekend went similarly, with small detours to venture out of my hidey hole (it’s freezing out there!) and then continued contemplation of the kinds of things I was going to make and boy were they cool. Only, nothing… It’s just the kind of behavior that led me to create this blog. It’s still amazing to me how much time I can spend in my head, planning projects, dreaming them, thinking about them, and then never moving forward with them.
I know that I need an ongoing stream of planning, dreaming, and thinking in order to actually be creative. But, it’s when I get bogged down and let the inertia take over that I find myself in trouble. It actually feels physically crushing, like I’m weighed down by it and unable to move to get anything done. But, I recognize that it’s just a physical manifestation of sensory overload, feeling overwhelmed, and cowed by how daunting just beginning sometimes seems.
And, so here I am, end of the long weekend and I’m letting it go. I’m not going to beat myself up about it. I’m going to move forward. So, I made one of the small creations that came to me over the weekend. A sweet bracelet from charms I’ve had sitting around for years, and beads from old costume earrings I took apart.
And that’s what this is about — creating even in the face of the creeping inertia. And reminding myself that when I do, even when it’s something small, something simple, it doesn’t feel suffocating or overwhelming. It’s feels like taking a luxuriously deep breath and exhaling slowly…